so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?