How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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