I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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