i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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