Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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