You just made me feel so damn special
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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