Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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