your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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