sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
