its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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