oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize