The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
