Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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