You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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