we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
