I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
