if you like me you must not know who I am
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
