I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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