IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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