no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
