So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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