It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
