Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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