Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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