A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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