She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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