I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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