it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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