You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
