Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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