I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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