he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize