Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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