So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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