She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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