wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
