mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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