She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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