Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just pee around me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
