My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
soo... how was my night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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