She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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