She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
