holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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