it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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