I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
