So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
