dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
