You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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