first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
