I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
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Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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