Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
