I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
