remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
