God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize