Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
