Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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