it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
