How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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