im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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