there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
