Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
