Welp...herpes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
