This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize