Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
