after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
