Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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