it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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