Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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